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A young kindergarten teacher, Rebecca Adler, who suffers from seizures collapses in her classroom after uncontrolled gibberish slips out her mouth while she is about to teach her students. She is taken to Dr. House and his team of experts who identify it might be a tumor, and she might have only a week to live.
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Director:
Bryan Singer
Writer:
David Shore
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Broadcast: 2004-11-16
Production No.: 5500
Episode Overall No.: 1
Episode Type: Regular Episode
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Episode Notes -  |
Quotes:
Dr. Cameron: I was in the top of my class.
House: But not the top.
Dr. Cuddy: Patient is orange.
House: The color?
Dr. Cuddy: No, the fruit.
House: You mean yellow; it’s jaundice.
Dr. Cuddy: I mean orange.
House: Well, how orange?
House: Humanity is overrated.
Dr. Cuddy: Is the yelling supposed to scare me? Because it doesn't. The fact you might hurt me does, but I'm pretty sure I could outrun you.
House: Nice ...
House: Far as I know she running an meth lab out of her basement.
Dr. Foreman: She's a kindergarten teacher.
House: And if I was a kindergarten student I would trust her implicitly.
Dr. Cuddy: I was expecting you in my office 20 minutes ago.
House: That's odd, because I had no intentions of being in your office 20 minutes ago.
House: (to Cameron) I hired you because you look good. It's like having a nice piece of art in the lobby.
House: If we don't talk to them, they can't lie to us, and we can't lie to them. Humanity is overrated.
House: There was plenty they could do...if they had made the right diagnosis. The only symptom was pain. Not many people get to experience muscle death.
Rebecca Adler: Did you think you were dying?
House: I hoped I was dying.
Dr. Foreman: Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
Dr. Cameron: Did (House) just turn on the TV?
Dr. Wilson: He's got to think.
Dr. Cuddy: How is it that you always assume you're right?
House: I don't, I just find it hard to operate on the opposite assumption. And why are you so afraid of making a mistake?
Dr. Cuddy: Because I'm a doctor. Because when we make mistakes people die.
House: People don't want a sick doctor.
Dr. Wilson: That's fair enough, I don't like healthy patients.
House: Oxygen is so important during those pre-pubescent years, don't you think?
Dr. Foreman: I should sue you.
House: I'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for wrongful hiring.
(Foreman smelling the floor)
Child: Why are you smelling Vinny's pants?
Dr. Foreman: I'm not.
Child: Looked like you were.
Dr. Foreman: I was smelling the floor.
Child: Oh.
(sign on get-well card)
We're happy you're not dead, Miss Rebecca.
Dr. Wilson: You never lied to me?
House: I never lie . . .
House: You're comparing me to a Nazi? (admiringly) Nice . . .
House: Sure you want to discontinue treatment, boss?
Dr. Cuddy: You got lucky.
House: Cool, huh?
House: People used to have more respect for cripples! (man in wheelchair glares) They didn't, really.
Dr. Foreman: Oh, Cameron, I need you for a couple of hours.
Dr. Cameron: What's up?
Dr. Foreman: When you break into a house, its always better to have a white chick with you.
Dr. Cameron: It's hard to work for a guy who doesn't respect me.
House: Why?
Dr. Cameron: Was that rhetorical?
House: No. Just seems that way because you can't think of an answer.
House: I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your ass. It's always ugly - always! We can live with dignity - we can't die with it.
House: Your wife is having an affair.
Orange-Colored Patient: What??
House: You're orange, you moron! It's one thing for you not to notice, but your wife hasn't picked up on the fact that her husband has changed colors. She's just not paying attention. Oh, by the way, do you consume just ridiculous amounts of carrots and mega-dose vitamins? The carrots turn you yellow, the niacin turns you red. Get a set of fingerpaints and figure it out.
Dr. Foreman: I thought everybody lied.
House: Truth begins in lies. Think about it.
Dr. Foreman: That doesn't even mean anything, does it?
Orange-Colored Patien:: What are those?
House: Painkillers.
Orange-Colored Patient: Oh, for you, for your leg.
House: No, because they're yummy.
House: See that – they all assume I'm a patient because of the cane.
Dr. Wilson: Then why don't you put on a white coat like the rest of us?
House: Then they think I'm a doctor.
House: What would you prefer - a doctor who holds your hand while you die or who ignores you while you get better? |
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House (2004) - 1x01 - Pilot