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At a high-level campaign fundraiser, a senator becomes violently ill. Vogler forces House to take the senator's case and offers to let off the hook on firing a team member if he'll deliver a speech on behalf of Vogler's pharmaceutical company. It looks like the senator has AIDS but House refuses to settle for the easy answer. And House ends up giving the speech, but it doesn't go quite as Vogler planned.
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Director:
Peter O'Fallon
Writer:
Matt Witten
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Broadcast: 2005-04-12
Production No.: 117
Episode Overall No.: 17
Episode Type: Regular Episode
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Earlimart [Treble & Tremble] - It's Okay to Think About Ending | |
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Episode Notes -  |
The tune House plays on his piano during the scene that shows he has twelve messages on his phone is "High Hopes."
Quotes:
Dr. Cameron: There are only two ways I can deal with things. One is in my control. That's to leave. Goodbye, House.
House: Okay, go tell our human pincushion we'll be sticking him one more time.
Dr. Wilson: Dr. Cameron’s getting to you. Well, I guess you can’t be around that much niceness and not get any on you.
House: Is that why you haven’t put the moves on her?
Dr. Wilson: What makes you think I haven’t put the moves on her? Oh. Oh, boy! You’re in trouble!
Senator: Am I well enough to run for president?
House: Well, why not run for Pope while you’re at it?
Foreman: Oh, come on. Kennedy had Addison’s, FDR had polio. Two of the best presidents in the last hundred years.
House: If they were running today they wouldn’t stand a chance.
House: A few things I forgot to mention. Ed Vogler is a brilliant businessman. A brilliant judge of people, and a man who has never lost a fight. You know how I know the new ACE inhibitor is good? Because the old one was good. The new one is really the same, it’s just more expensive. A lot more expensive. See, that’s another example of Ed’s brilliance. Whenever one of his drugs is about to lose its patent he has his boys and girls alter it just a tiny bit and patent it all over again. Making not just a pointless new pill, but millions and millions of dollars. Which is good for everbody, right? The patients, pish. Who cares, they’re just so damn sick! God obviously never liked them anyway. All the healthy people in the room, let’s have a big round of applause for Ed Vogler!
Dr. Cuddy: In the Senator’s condition, a spleen biopsy could easily cause sepsis and kill him!
House: Why do you do this to me? Now if I kill him, I can't tell the judge I had no idea of the risks involved.
Sarah: I haven’t had sex since I split up with my husband.That was almost a year ago.
House: Fine, have it your way. Immaculate conception.
Sarah: Um, what do I do?
House: Well, it’s obvious. Start a religion.
House: You were pregnant. Based on your hormone levels, you had a miscarriage.
Sarah: I haven’t even been on a date.
House: Right, since it’s physically impossible to have sex without someone buying you dinner.
Dr. Foreman: You wanna cut into his brain?
House: Dangerous, I know. Especially as he’s a politician, his brain’s all twisted. But I weighed that against the risk of him stroking out before lunch.
Wright: When I was six, I fell off the swings and bit my tongue. Couldn’t talk right for the longest time. Lots of teasing. But, you know, it just made me fight harder, speak up for those who can’t.
House: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tongues heal too fast. Your political consultants have written you a nice story. In a tight race, the lispers alone could put you over the top.
Dr. Chase: CVID. That's a type of immuno-globular deficiency. I said that.
House: Yeah, it was a stupid idea when you said it.
House: You know, when the Inuit go fishing, they don't look for fish.
(long pause)
Dr. Wilson: (exasperatedly) Why, Dr. House?
House: You like me. Why?
Dr. Cameron: That's kind of a sad question.
Dr. Wilson: (to House) I know this isn't easy for you. You'll suffer. Vicodin sales in New Jersey will triple. Only you could feel like crap for doing something good.
Vogler: I just saw Senator Wright - he looks like hell. That sushi must have been a lot worse then you thought.
House: Mr. Vogler – would you like a free whole-body scan? A man of your stature should get himself checked at least three times a year.
House: He didn't have any reason to lie.
Dr. Wilson: Everybody lies...except politicians? House, I believe you're a romantic. You didn't just believe him - you believed in him. You want to come over tonight and watch old movies and cry?
House: "Ideopathic" – from the Latin meaning "we're idiots because we can't figure out what's causing it."
Dr. Cuddy: Why do you have to make everything so dramatic?!?
House: Because I'm a very high-strung little lap dog. (barks & growls)
House: Someday there will be a black president. Someday there will be a gay president. Maybe there'll even be a gay black president. But one combination I do not see is gay, black, and dead.
House: (to Cameron) People pray so that God won't crush them like bugs. I'm not going to crush you.
House: Are you . . . comparing me to God? I mean, that's great, but just so you know, I've never made a tree.
House: You're not going to be President either way - they don't call it the White House because of the paint job.
Wright: What will the voters think? If they find out I've had a b-brain biopsy?
House: This could leave you b-b-b-brain damaged, and you're worried about NASCAR dads?
House: You'd only make that argument if you were an administrator, covering your ass.
Dr. Cuddy: That's absurd and insulting.
House: Insulting, yes.
Dr. Cuddy: A brain biopsy can cause permanent neurological damage.
House: Uh-huh. Whereas tumors are really good for brains - make them big and strong.
Dr. Cuddy: In my office.
House: Afternoon delight. (waves his cane) She just loves the hard wood.
House: What was that?
Dr. Chase: What was what?
House: You got annoyed. That was clearly an annoyed face.
Dr. Chase: I get annoyed about glib remarks about our future.
House: Last week you didn't get annoyed - you made poopie in your pants.
Wright: You a Republican, or you just hate all politicians?
House: I just find being forced to sit through drivel annoying.
House: (playing a video game) Helps me concentrate. Even better then drugs.
Vogler: Look, if this case is as trivial as you think, it'll take you three minutes to diagnose.
House: Uh-huh - three minutes that I could sit on the toilet with the funny pages.
Vogler: The senator is suffering from nausea, headache, and mental confusion.
House: Ah, bad sushi is so hard to diagnose. |
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House (2004) - 1x17 - Role Model