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House apparently triggers a stroke in a clinic patient, but the major topic of discussion is House's imminent date with Cameron, The team must deal with the patient's odd lifestyle, overbearing "friend," and reluctant parents in order to stop the strokes and try to save his life. Meanwhile, Wilson, Cuddy and the team offer House and Cameron advice while laying odds on the outcome.
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Director:
Bryan Spicer
Writer:
Sara B. Cooper
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Broadcast: 2005-05-10
Production No.: 120
Episode Overall No.: 20
Episode Type: Regular Episode
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Episode Notes -  |
Quotes:
House: (after getting covered with what he thinks is urine) Damn it! Who the hell walks around with an open urine sample!?
Kid: I'm sorry, I didn't... (runs away)
Dr. Wilson: You think that was a bit of an overreaction?
House: Well, he peed on me. I'm not into that.
Dr. Cameron: I have one evening with you one chance, and I don't want to waste it talking about what wines you like or what movies you hate. I wanna know...how you feel...about me?
House: You live under the delusion that you can fix everything that isn't perfect. That's why you married a man who was dying of cancer. You don't love, you need, and now that your husband is dead, you're looking for your new charity case, that's why you're going out with me. I'm twice your age, I'm not great looking, I'm not charming, I'm not even nice. What I am is what you need...I'm damaged.
Dr. Chase: (to Cameron, after House's snide remark) Yeah, I get it. House is adorable. I just wanna hold him and never let go.
House: Chase. Did you know about this woman? What she does?
Dr. Chase: I met her at some parties, yeah.
House: I wouldn’t have tortured you if I knew you liked it.
Dr. Wilson: (to House) Holy...you gave the guy a stroke?
Patient: Wait…she’s making you do her?
House: Date her.
Dr. Wilson: Young ingénue doctor falling in love with gruff, older mentor; her sweet gentle nature bringing him to a closer, fuller understanding of his wounded heart.
House: This is a mistake. I don't know how to have casual conversation. You think you're talking about one thing, and either you are and it's incredibly boring, or you’re not because it's subtext and you need a decoder ring.
Dr. Cuddy: You lied to them!
Mrs. Park: He told us our son was dead.
House: It's only a white lie. Technically, all I did was call them a little early. Trust me, he'll be dead real soon. Actually, I saved you some rush-hour traffic.
House: (to an elderly woman) Ramona. You naughty girl. You've either got yourself an 18-year-old boyfriend or an 80-year-old with some little blue pills.
Dr. Wilson: Oh, and if you need condoms, I've got some.
House: Did your wife give them to you?
Dr. Wilson: Drug rep. They've got antibiotics built in...somehow.
House: I have been on a date...
Dr. Wilson: Not since disco died.
Dr. Foreman: I think you should go with your instincts here – be a jerk.
House: I'm missing my soap for this?
Dr. Foreman: Hey, I've been on the scene more then you recently . . .
House: Way ahead of you. I've got a case of malt liquor stashed in the trunk, Mr. Marvin Gaye on the CD – we are going to get all the way down.
House: Two bad accountants from the Pacific Rim? The odds are astronomical.
Clinic Lawyer: So what's that - two strokes you've scared this guy into?
House: Yeah - it's making me question my view of myself as a people person.
House: (to Cameron) Regarding wardrobe, are you too young to remember spandex?
House: Sorry – we tried your way, you could not have been wronger.
Dr. Foreman: I said Chase was probably right.
House: Oh, yeah – we've all got 20/20 hindsight.
Dr. Cuddy: (to House) Wear the sky-blue shirt. It almost makes you look nice.
Dr. Cuddy: Well, I think it's a good thing. What happened in your last relationship, it's no reason to wall yourself off from people forever. Five years of self-pity is probably enough.
House: Wow. Well, you've certainly given me a lot to think about. If only I was as open as you.
Dr. Cuddy: Well . . .
House: Actually, it was your blouse I was talking about.
Myron: You got a pharmacy around here?
House: In the hospital? Could be – let's see if we can find it.
Myron: You Dr. House?
House: I have a feeling I'm going to regret this, but...yes.
Dr. Chase: I said I thought it was a trauma-induced Aneurysm.
House: Yeah, it could have carried a tad more weight if you'd mentioned the "liking pain" thing. You're on my naughty list – sorry, no leather stethoscope this Christmas.
Dr. Foreman: Yeah, why would you want to be in a relationship that's so obviously going to lead to pain?
Dr. Cameron: Shut up!
Ramona: Hi – I'm having vaginal pain.
House: Pleasure to meet you.
Ramona: My ob-gyn died recently. Nice man. Warm hands.
House: Not anymore.
Dr. Cameron: (House) agreed to go on a date with me.
Dr. Foreman: A date? Date, dinner & a movie, naked and sweaty date?
Dr. Cameron: He only committed to the first two.
Dr. Foreman: (House) scared a guy into stroking out?
Dr. Wilson: Does that surprise anyone here?
Dr. Foreman: (to Cameron) Then why'd you (come back)?
House: Because this . . . is the happiest place on Earth. |
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House (2004) - 1x20 - Love Hurts