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When Dr. Sebastian Charles (guest star Ron Livingston, Little Black Book, Sex and the City), renowned physician and head of an international organization to fight the spread of tuberculosis among the poor in Africa, is rushed to Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital after collapsing, he immediately determines all the symptoms are from TB. Dr. House has a different opinion and requests additional tests to help determine the cause of his illness. The case begins to get media attention and Dr. Charles sees a chance to further his cause by refusing to submit to any additional tests and take necessary medication in order to gain media exposure for the inadequacies of the medical system for the poor in Africa. As House confronts his patient on live television, his medical condition deteriorates and the team takes over to try to save his life. Meanwhile, Foreman fills in for House in the clinic with disastrous results and Cameron sees eye to eye with Dr. Charles and his cause.
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Director:
Peter O'Fallon
Writer:
David Foster
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Broadcast: 2005-11-01
Production No.: E6304
Episode Overall No.: 26
Episode Type: Regular Episode
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Episode Notes -  |
"Stoia Tucker Pharamaceuticals" is an in-joke reference to First Assistant Director Chris Stoia.
Quotes:
Dr. Gregory House: Nobel invented dynamite. I won't accept his blood money.
Dr. Gregory House: J'ever notice, how all the self-sacrificing women in history, Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa... can't think of any others, they all die alone? The men, on the other hand, get so much fuzz it's crazy.
Dr. Wilson: It's an unfair world.
Dr. Gregory House: You want third-world treatment?
[Turns up the thermostat]
Dr. Gregory House: You got it. Boy, is it hot here in Jani!
Dr. Allison Cameron: What are you doing?
Dr. Gregory House: What am I doing?
[He knocks Sebastian's things onto the floor]
Dr. Gregory House: Putting everything on the floor of the hut. Uh oh, wicked magic box with the moving pictures!
Dr. Allison Cameron: You think he's a hypocrite?
Dr. Gregory House: [Unplugging the TV] Hypocrite? No, everyone in Africa's got cell phones or running water.
[He has dropped Sebastian's cellphone into the toilet]
Dr. Gregory House: This thing just will not flush.
Sebastian Charles: Do you really think that if you come in here and make it a little hot, make it smell a little, that I'm just going to fold and abandon everything that matters to me?
Dr. Gregory House: [Wiping his cane on Sebastian's blanket] Lousy sanitation over there, too. You are not the same as them, your life is not the same. And you are cheapening everything they're going through by pretending you are.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Is there nobody you admire?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, there was this girl in 'Nam who could blow out a candle without using her...
Dr. Robert Chase: [discussing Dr. Charles' condition] What about something metabolic?
Dr. Gregory House: Welcome aboard the good ship Asskisser. Nice day for a sail! Pucker up, me 'earties!
Dr. Wilson: [discussing Dr. Charles] You're just mad because he's closer to a Nobel Prize than you are.
Dr. Gregory House: And yet I've nailed more Swedish babes... crazy, crazy world.
Dr. Gregory House: [House has determined a patient is allergic to her newly adopted cat] You're allergic. We can control it with antihistamines, one pill a day.
Mandy: Pills?
Dr. Gregory House: You don't like to swallow? I'm not surprised. Forget the pills, I'll give you a nasal spray.
Mandy: Steroids? Is there something else you can give me?
Dr. Gregory House: Well, if you live by the river, I've got a bag...
Dr. Gregory House: [Cuddy has reprimanded House for upsetting a female patient who mistakenly thought Foreman was him] Let me ask you something. If this were another doctor, if the patient were complaining about, say... Foreman, you'd just dismiss this as the paranoid bitching of another paranoid bitch, and file it under P for...
Dr. Wilson: Paranoid?
Dr. Gregory House: I am not!
Dr. Gregory House: [answering Newsweek's phone call about Dr. Charles' condition] In my opinion, Dr. Sebastian Charles is an idiot! Yeah, you can quote me... C-U-D-D-Y.
[watching House interrupt a live, televised press conference]
Dr. Wilson: Now that's quality television.
Dr. Gregory House: [knowing the famous Dr. Sebastian Charles has asked Cameron out] Are you gonna go out with him?
Dr. Cameron: Is that any of your business?
Dr. Gregory House: Nope.
Dr. Cameron: [pauses] I don't think so.
Dr. Gregory House: Two days ago, you were holding his hand. What's changed?
Dr. Cameron: He practically lives in Africa. There's no future.
Dr. Gregory House: On the other hand, maybe there's too much of a future now. You weren't attracted to him because he was prepared to die for a cause, you were attracted to him because he was actually doing it.
Dr. Cameron: [scoffs] Right. It's that simple.
Dr. Gregory House: That was simple?
Dr. Cameron: I put a label on them and go from there.
Dr. Gregory House: Everybody does it. We are who people think we are. People think he's a great doctor so they give him stuff.
Dr. Cameron: He is a great doctor.
Dr. Gregory House: The reality is irrelevant.
Dr. Gregory House: Selling subscriptions? I hear it's 20 then you get a bike.
Dr. Gregory House: That'll be very useful if we need someone to say, "I think it's TB."
Dr. Gregory House: Knew we should have stopped for directions. Men!
Dr. Eric Foreman: What's the emergency?
Dr. Gregory House: I can't remember how to do Walk the Dog.
Dr. Gregory House: I want to see that Pious body powder tush hanging out of a gown.
Dr. Gregory House: [mocking Dr. Sebastian's TB stats] Every minute we refuse to love each each other a puppy dies.
Mandy: The top of my heads killing me.
Dr. Gregory House: We spend a week doing top of head in anatomy. Know exactly where it is.
Dr. Allison Cameron: You were wrong.
Dr. Gregory House: Hey! I have feelings. I'm trying.
Dr. Allison Cameron: He asked me out.
Dr. Robert Chase: [not shocked] Shocked. I'm shocked when patients don't ask you out.
Dr. Allison Cameron: He also asked me to come to Africa.
Dr. Robert Chase: Wow. He moves fast...
Dr. Gregory House: He's not a real doctor. He's a human telethon.
Dr. Wilson: So it's TB but not TB.
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: You've outdone yourself.
Dr. Gregory House: I'll say. I'm covering up a T-Bone steak with salad.
Dr. Gregory House: With that eyeshadow I'm totally screwed, aren't I?
Dr. Lisa Cuddy: Totally.
Dr. Gregory House: [snapping the number of times a person dies of TB] Sure they're dying, but it's got a great beat.
Dr. Gregory House: Good. This is good.
Dr. Eric Foreman: Good? This is bazaar!
Dr. Gregory House: Bazaar is good.
Sebastian Charles: No. TB is my disease.
Dr. Gregory House: [sarcastically] You OWN a disease?
Dr. Gregory House: No leaves rustling. Blow harder.
Dr. Robert Chase: I already gave him 1 EP.
Dr. Gregory House: I guess now would be the time to give him more than 1 EP.
Dr. Gregory House: [referring to Cameron] She asked, looking clever.
Dr. Gregory House: So you're not special but TB is? |
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