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| Plot |
| 5x01 - Father Knows Best: | | Season five opens with a surprise visit from a man from Chicago (guest star Anthony Anderson) claiming to be Bryana’s father. |
| 5x02 - Wrestling with a Sticky Situation: | | When Jordan makes the wrestling team, Bernie turns to Stone Cold Steve Austin for advice. |
| 5x03 - Marathon Mac: | | Berine better put his money where his mouth is when he agrees to Charles Barkley's bet that he will beat Bernie’s time in a 10-K charity race. |
| 5x04 - The Big Payback: | | When Bernie gives Vanessa money for school clothes, she decides to spend it all on an expensive pair of shoes. |
| 5x05 - Car Wars: | | Vanessa sets out to buy her first car, but all she can afford is a total junker. When her friend Curtis offers to help her fix up the old clunker, Bernie fears that Curtis has more on his mind than fixing her car. |
| 5x06 - Night of Terror: | | While baby-sitting Bryana, Jordan watches a horror movie and scares himself into believing that zombies are trying to kill him and Bryana. |
| 5x07 - For Whom the Belt Tolls: | | Wanda learns about Bernie's secret discipline-keeping device, and its power corrupts her. |
| 5x08 - Pop Pop Goes the Weasel: | | When Bryana's father, Bryan (Anthony Anderson), visits, he threatens Bernie's relationship with Jordan and undermines Bernie's barbecuing techniques. |
| 5x09 - Prison Break: | | Bernie realizes his punishment system is no longer effective so he puts the kids into a total lockdown. |
| 5x10 - Some Church Bull: | | In an effort to bring the family closer together, Wanda insists they participate in the annual parish retreat organized by the children’s school, and Bernie finally agrees. However, bad weather forces the families indoors and their participation in lame group activities only drives them further apart. Needless to say, the retreat only makes matters worse until Bernie does some family bonding of his own and agrees with Wanda’s request that they have a baby. |
| 5x11 - Sorely Missed: | | When Bernie and Wanda find themselves spending all of their time on the kids, Bernie decides that they need some time alone. Confident that he knows how to please Wanda, Bernie attempts to satisfy her both physically and emotionally. But his plans fail as Wanda tells that him what she really wants is to be mother to the kids, a wish he cannot satisfy. Meanwhile Bryana asks Vanessa and Jordan about their birth mother, whom she cannot remember and misses terribly. |
| 5x12 - Fumes of Detente: | | A friend visiting from Chicago prompts Vanessa to see her life differently and has an impact on Jordan. |
| 5x13 - Exercise in Fertility (1): | | Bernie and Wanda realize that making a baby is harder than they thought after several failed attempts. |
| 5x14 - Exercise in Fertility, Conclusion (2): | | Fertility drugs bring out an odd side of Wanda, while Vanessa alerts her siblings to the realities of having a baby in the house. |
| 5x15 - Fantasy Football: | | As football season begins, Bernie is excited to learn that Jordan shares an interest in the sport. They join a fantasy football league together and their relationship grows closer, but differing philosophies on player picks soon come between them as Jordan eventually leaves Bernie to get a higher ranking.
Meanwhile, Vanessa has a makeup party with her friends, but after letting Bryana partake, Bryana becomes a makeup addict. |
| 5x16 - Bar Mizvah Crashers: | | Bernie pushes Jordan to hang out with David, a new neighbor who is Jewish, in order to expand his cultural horizons. Jordan thinks the kid is a total nerd and hangs out with him begrudgingly, but the two become fast friends when David introduces Jordan to the Jewish bar mitzvah tradition and he is amazed by how elaborate the parties are, especially the gift bags.
Jordan has a difficult decision to make when he is invited to what will surely be the biggest bar mitzvah of the year, but it conflicts [...] (More) |
| 5x17 - Who's Your Mama: | | When Wanda leaves on a business trip, Bryan moves in temporarily to help out around the house. At first Bernie doubts Bryan's ability to manage household chores, but when Bryan goes above and beyond to be the perfect "housewife," everyone is impressed. However, his domestic aptitude gets personal when Bernie and Bryan fight over who is the main mama of the house. Meanwhile, it's voting time for the "Eighth Grade Bests" class superlatives and Jordan is determined to win "best smile" |
| 5x18 - What Would Jason Do: | | With the senior prom approaching, Bernie is protective of Vanessa and insists on interviewing her potential dates for the evening. After scaring a few of them away, Bernie meets Jason, a practicing Christian who is perfect for Bernie but maybe too innocent for his niece, so he coaches him on how to win Vanessa's heart. But when the big night arrives and Jason takes Vanessa to the prom, Bernie fears he taught Jason his own teenage player ways. Meanwhile, Bryana sprains her ankle in soccer and forces [...] (More) |
| 5x19 - It's Never As Bad As the First Time: | | Jordan is smitten with his new girlfriend, Erica, and everyone is surprised that he is dating a good-looking cheerleader. But when he's abruptly dumped for another guy, Jordan is devastated until a talk with Bernie and a new girl mend his broken heart. Meanwhile, Wanda pays Vanessa to take care of Bryana until she realizes Bryana is picking up some habits from Vanessa's friends that are too mature for a little girl. |
| 5x20 - Spinning Wheels: | | Wanda's sister Valerie comes into town for Wanda's birthday and is intent on throwing her a roller disco party. But when the group arrives at the roller rink and finds it closed, Bryan saves the day and brings the party to the parking lot. As usual, Valerie tries to become the center of attention and takes advantage of Wanda's sibling support, but when Bryan helps Wanda stand up to Valerie, Wanda realizes Bryan may not be such a burden after all. |
| 5x21 - Growing Pains: | | Vanessa needs to study for the SAT but keeps blowing it off to make extra money working at a coffee house. Bernie thinks she's too comfortable living at home and working, so he asks her to pay rent and amenities. Unfortunately for Bernie, Vanessa manages her money well and she sees no reason for college. Meanwhile, Jordan discovers the ability to overpower Vanessa because he is now taller than she is and begins to exert his power with other members of the house, which doesn't sit well with Bernie. [...] (More) |
| 5x22 - Bernie's Angels: | | Bernie suffers a near-death experience due to the kids' carelessness and when he awakens from being electrocuted, he feels the need to lovingly impart all of his knowledge to the children before he passes. Inspired by something he saw on "Oprah," Bernie goes all-out and makes videos for every topic the children could possibly need his advice on after he's gone. Meanwhile, Vanessa is struggling with her college applications, and she believes Bernie and Wanda don't have faith in her abilities because [...] (More) |
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General Info: Click on the episode names to get more information about them. | |
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